these are a few of my favorite things.
today is your lucky day. why? b/c today, i’m going to tell you what pisses me off. and you’re going to sit there and read everything. and you’re going to like it. oh yes you will. you will because it’s NORMAL. hehe i heart family guy.
guys who still try to get into fights post-college. unless fighting is part of your job description a la professional wrestlers, you really should not be putting your hands on another man… unless that’s your style… not that there’s anything wrong with that! but seriously, dude, you’re like 25, you’re probably going to be married with kids in a couple years, and you’re still going around trying to prove you’re the baddest guy in the bar. we get it, you used to play football in high school and you can lift 2 times your body weight while lying down, which i’m sure comes in handy during your extracurricular activities. but save the small penis compensating display of macho-ism for someone who cares. besides, i’m friends with cops (see previous post).
people who talk about stuff and they have no idea what they’re talking about. this is really annoying. especially when YOU know more about a topic than the person who’s talking. one time at a party, there was this kid telling me and one of my friends about how he wanted to get involved with venture capitalism and he had this idea and he was going to get some venture capitalists to give him a “few million” dollars to start it up and it’s “easy to get money like that” blah blah blah. what a moron. the worst part of all this is that he was talking with such a condescending tone and an air of arrogance. and when i asked him “what’s your idea?”, he dismissed the question as a non-issue. umm… so you expect some random strangers to give you a “few million” for an idea that you don’t even have yet? you can’t even convince me that you’re not an idiot and i ain’t giving you anything! remind me to stab myself in the ears if you ever try to strike up a conversation with me again.
girls who say “oh i’m so fat and ugly” when they’re really not. if i had magical powers and a pet panda, anytime a girl said something like this, i’d turn them into rosie o’donnell. (i don’t really need a panda for this. i just always wanted one) let me put it this way; if you’re really fat and ugly, you would never say out loud that you are fat and ugly. it just doesn’t happen. it would be like me saying “oh i hate being so really really ridiculously good-looking.” it doesn’t need to be said! girls who just say things like this for the sake of saying it are just trying to get some attention. and this is not just my opinion on the matter either. here’s mina’s reaction to attention seeking people. note: her opinion should be read with the understanding that she’s a fairly violent individual. one time, she body slammed my college roommate and gave him the people’s elbow.
when people drive in the left lane under or at the speed limit. people from uva think i have road rage while people from the north don’t find anything weird about my driving. the reason? people from the south are slow drivers. in fact, i suffer my biggest road rage attacks while driving in the south, where everything is slower including the acceptance of the idea that dating your cousin is a bad idea. but this problem isn’t solely representative of the south; there are idiots everywhere. let this be a hint to all of you out there who drive slowly in the left lane; when there’s a lot of cars behind you and none in front of you, GET OUT OF THE WAY.
people who write brokeback blog posts and don’t allow for comments. this really REALLY bothers me. if you’re going to write a brokeback entry, be it about your significant other, your feelings, or about how today was the worst day in your life because you overslept and you missed your exam and your professor is a meanie poo because he wouldn’t let you retake it, at least have the decency to allow comments so that people like me can tell you to shut your mouth. have some balls, man. or if you’re of the female gender, grow some ovaries. if you’re a kid, you really shouldn’t be reading this blog b/c i use big words and talk about adult topics like harry potter. but these brokeback blog entries deserve only ridicule and disdain. anything otherwise allows people to continue living in a fantasy world where they think someone actually cares about their whining. erroneous! ERRONEOUS!
heights. i’m just scared of them. hehe.
obviously, there are a lot of other things that bother me but i don’t have the time or the energy to discuss everything in the world that i don’t like. that would take way too long. besides i hate people who complain a lot. hehe!
guys who still try to get into fights post-college. unless fighting is part of your job description a la professional wrestlers, you really should not be putting your hands on another man… unless that’s your style… not that there’s anything wrong with that! but seriously, dude, you’re like 25, you’re probably going to be married with kids in a couple years, and you’re still going around trying to prove you’re the baddest guy in the bar. we get it, you used to play football in high school and you can lift 2 times your body weight while lying down, which i’m sure comes in handy during your extracurricular activities. but save the small penis compensating display of macho-ism for someone who cares. besides, i’m friends with cops (see previous post).
people who talk about stuff and they have no idea what they’re talking about. this is really annoying. especially when YOU know more about a topic than the person who’s talking. one time at a party, there was this kid telling me and one of my friends about how he wanted to get involved with venture capitalism and he had this idea and he was going to get some venture capitalists to give him a “few million” dollars to start it up and it’s “easy to get money like that” blah blah blah. what a moron. the worst part of all this is that he was talking with such a condescending tone and an air of arrogance. and when i asked him “what’s your idea?”, he dismissed the question as a non-issue. umm… so you expect some random strangers to give you a “few million” for an idea that you don’t even have yet? you can’t even convince me that you’re not an idiot and i ain’t giving you anything! remind me to stab myself in the ears if you ever try to strike up a conversation with me again.
girls who say “oh i’m so fat and ugly” when they’re really not. if i had magical powers and a pet panda, anytime a girl said something like this, i’d turn them into rosie o’donnell. (i don’t really need a panda for this. i just always wanted one) let me put it this way; if you’re really fat and ugly, you would never say out loud that you are fat and ugly. it just doesn’t happen. it would be like me saying “oh i hate being so really really ridiculously good-looking.” it doesn’t need to be said! girls who just say things like this for the sake of saying it are just trying to get some attention. and this is not just my opinion on the matter either. here’s mina’s reaction to attention seeking people. note: her opinion should be read with the understanding that she’s a fairly violent individual. one time, she body slammed my college roommate and gave him the people’s elbow.
when people drive in the left lane under or at the speed limit. people from uva think i have road rage while people from the north don’t find anything weird about my driving. the reason? people from the south are slow drivers. in fact, i suffer my biggest road rage attacks while driving in the south, where everything is slower including the acceptance of the idea that dating your cousin is a bad idea. but this problem isn’t solely representative of the south; there are idiots everywhere. let this be a hint to all of you out there who drive slowly in the left lane; when there’s a lot of cars behind you and none in front of you, GET OUT OF THE WAY.
people who write brokeback blog posts and don’t allow for comments. this really REALLY bothers me. if you’re going to write a brokeback entry, be it about your significant other, your feelings, or about how today was the worst day in your life because you overslept and you missed your exam and your professor is a meanie poo because he wouldn’t let you retake it, at least have the decency to allow comments so that people like me can tell you to shut your mouth. have some balls, man. or if you’re of the female gender, grow some ovaries. if you’re a kid, you really shouldn’t be reading this blog b/c i use big words and talk about adult topics like harry potter. but these brokeback blog entries deserve only ridicule and disdain. anything otherwise allows people to continue living in a fantasy world where they think someone actually cares about their whining. erroneous! ERRONEOUS!
heights. i’m just scared of them. hehe.
obviously, there are a lot of other things that bother me but i don’t have the time or the energy to discuss everything in the world that i don’t like. that would take way too long. besides i hate people who complain a lot. hehe!
posted by Dunce at
2:18 PM
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