work stories.

the other day, i was doing what i usually do every midafternoon, which is walk around the halls at work passing gas, when i noticed something: senior people do some strange things in the privacy of their own offices. i'm not sure if they mistakenly believe their doors are composed of 1-way glass or not but i've seen them engage in some pretty odd activities.

for example, one guy was leaning back in his chair with his hand in his pants at around 3 PM. ummm... ok let me break it out for you, "star". on your couch, acceptable. at work, unacceptable. after a meal, acceptable. after a conference call, unacceptable. in view of loved ones or friends, acceptable. in view of your secretary and the guy shining your shoes, unacceptable. you get the picture here?

here's another one. i had this book going out for a project i was working on and it was getting close to crunch time. the meeting was in 15 minutes and i was running around trying to get edits to the book made, making changes to the analysis, basically doing what i do everyday which is run the damn show. ya heard? and i was really running. i'm talking sweat pouring adrenaline pumping booty shaking running. and as i run by the MD's (managing director, basically, the guy making millions off of your 100 hour weeks who doesn't even know your name. or possibly that you even exist at all.) office, i see him sitting there, calmly paging through a brochure. and as i look closer, i realize it's a freakin car catalogue! he was picking out which new acura he wanted after he makes a whole lotta money from this deal that i've been slaving over. btw, for anyone who wants to know what investment banking is, this story is it. sigh... my life is so hard.

one last one: so this guy at work who's not only obnoxiously loud but just plain obnoxious was on the phone when i hear him shout out, "that guy's an idiot! he doesn't know the difference between common stock and... and... livestock!" to which i stood up and said, "that's a good one." but the best part is, after i said that, the secretary who sits next to that guy, and who's had to put up with his annoying phone calls all year, started cracking up. fantastic. (and for those who don't know what common stock is because you don't know anything about finance... i envy you. learning finance was one of the worst decisions in my life. and this is coming from the guy that used to have a perm. but that's a story for another entry.)

ok that's it for now. i'm a busy guy, you know? besides it's getting close to my walk and fart time.