this guy's a genius

last year, little used phoenix suns reserve forward paul shirley kept a running blog of events during the season as well as the postseason

http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_blog.html

http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html

for the mentally challenged, the link with "playoff_blog" in it is his blog from the postseason.

this guy's pretty funny though. here are a few of my favorite lines:

"Jake Voskuhl and I did get to watch our fellow end-of-the-bench mate, Bo Outlaw, get into the game. He managed to fire up one of his patented 'I can’t believe a professional basketball player shoots the ball that way' jump shots, but with limited success. He did get in the box score though. "

"I am afraid Memphis may get kicked out of the league. I could be mistaken, but I think they started three white guys— three American white guys at that. I am pretty sure there is a rule against that somewhere—some kind of quota, I think. Maybe I am wrong."

"We had today off, which is good news for my legs. Exhaustion is about to set in, what with all these 40+ minute nights I have been putting in…Wait…I somehow got confused and thought I was writing Shawn Marion’s journal entry. Sorry about that. Anyhoo, a day off is always a good idea, in my book. If I were a slightly more conscientious basketball player, I would have used the extra time to do some weightlifting or conditioning. Since I am not, I went to the beach. "

"We started off like a ball of fire, making up for our errant shots in Atlanta several fold. The Bobcats, on the other hand, were flailing away at the exact opposite end of the spectrum. They looked like a CBA team—fitting, since their arena and fans fit that mold. In the early going, Charlotte was nearly as inept as the Hawks were the night before. Jason Kapono started off on about a 1 for 10 tear and it appeared that the rout was on. I began considering the possibility that there could very well be a bit of playing time in the offing and started paying at least cursory attention to what was going on in timeouts, in case Coach D’Antoni said something like, 'From now on tonight, everyone will be shooting with his left hand. Deviation from this plan of attack will result in castration immediately following the game.' I would really hate to miss one of those instructions, come out firing, and because of my own mental lapse, ruin the rest of my life. (That was an example of some unneeded verbosity. When I sign my book deal, someone will have to teach me how to actually write.) "

"Why do fat girls think that tight clothes are going to somehow enhance their overall appearance? It actually does the exact opposite. Also, do these people buy homes that are not equipped with mirrors? Even a stainless steel toaster would probably do enough of a reflecting job to tell some of the hosses I saw wandering around this evening that it might have been a better idea to leave the not-so-little strapless number in the closet."

anyway, i'll let you guys read the articles b/c they're pretty hilarious (make sure you start from the bottom b/c it's the earliest entry and then move up... you guys are smart, i'm sure you'll figure it out). he's got a real dry wit about him that i really admire. i wish i could write like this. but not talk like this. imagine if you really talked like that. it'd be funny for a little bit but then it's gotta get weird. "i do believe that the fellow is quite bothered by his hamstring. rather." gtfoh, man.

but whatever, this dude's funny.

for someone who works 80+ hour weeks (some weeks hehe), i have too much free time.